One thing that my dad told me when I was a young child is much more hilarious now than it was then. Like, a million times more hilarious. He kindly told me all about toll, I mean toe, bridges. Yes, apparently the first time I heard about toll bridges, I perceived the sounds incorrectly and called it a toe bridge. My father decided that was the perfect opportunity to share with me about the dreaded toe bridges.
Toe bridges were bridges that collect a fee when you drive over them. You wonder, "What kind of fee?" Well, toe bridges collect any visible toes before allowing the occupants of the vehicle to pass over the bridge. This is because toe bridges are actually made out of toes, and there needs to be a constant supply of toes in order to build more toe bridges and to make repairs.
And I believed him. Let me just remind you that I was young child.
Young Me took this all very seriously, which I'm sure my father thought was absolutely hysterical. He explained that no one would confiscate my toes as long as I kept them hidden when we stopped at the toe booth. If I was wearing closed toe shoes, I was safe. If I was not, then I was supposed to hide my toes under the seat in front of me in order to avoid my toes being seen.
The worst part: I actually complied. Whenever we went over a toe bridge, I would hide my toes. Thankfully, it didn't take very long for me to realize (only like 20 years) that toe bridges were not made out of toes, and that no evil toe booth workers were scanning the back seat looking for little feet.
It did become a fun little game for my family, though. Little sister and I were young enough at the time to still play along whenever we came to toe bridges, even though we knew it wasn't actually real. It has persisted as a joke in my family to this day.
I'm just telling you that to warn you in case you ever travel anywhere with my family. If you ever see us hiding our toes and talking about a toe bridge, we really aren't completely weird.
