That's supposed to be a tissue. Not just a blob or a booger.
And so for the past few days, I have become a nearly permanent fixture on my couch, watching hours, HOURS, of television shows and movies. I read a little, but that took more energy, so I would soon return to mindless staring at a show. I didn't do anything. I went a whole day without even looking outside. On the first night of being sick, I went to the drugstore and bought a thermometer, soup, children's cold medicine (yes, I still take children's cold medicine), and chocolate. The cashier wished me to feel well soon. I initially wanted to respond with something along the lines of, "how do you even know that this is for me?" But then I remembered that I looked like I was a sleepwalking monster-girl and that she had every reason to assume it was for me.
She also probably thought I was a moron because as I was looking for a basket in which to carry around my merchandise while shopping, I found a stack of them. The first few looked gross. There was a hairball in one. A hairball. So I took off the top few to find a cleaner one, and she walked up to me to make sure everything was alright. And I told her in the most awkward, congested way possible that there was a hairball in one and I had been looking for a clean one, and then pretty much just walked away from the area. I was sick, okay. I didn't care about acting like a functional human being.
Anyway, I really appreciated her wishing me to feel well. We all get sick. I have been blessed enough to live a comparatively healthy life so far. That could change in an instant, I know. But so far, most of my illnesses have comprised of stuffy noses and fevers that clear after a few days. Headaches that go away. I remember throwing up in class in the 4th grade, right on the carpet, and you could see my breakfast in it. Super gross. And I'm sure my parents remember much more vomiting, runny noses, headaches, and fevers in their little girl as grew. But I see people every day who are younger and older than myself struggling with illness and despair, and I know that my little sickness was nothing compared to that. It does make me appreciate what I have, because I know health can change in a moment.
And today I have felt so much better. I have hardly been congested, have been able to breath through my nose, don't feel dizzy when I stand, and can talk without sounding like a scary villain dude in a movie. So tonight I finally felt well enough to rejoin the rest of the world, and I actually saw people. As I was driving, I saw that the moon was rising, and oh my goodness, I remembered how beautiful the world can be.
I have been so isolated in my little sick world, I truly forgot what it was like outside. What I mean is this: I knew what was outside, but I had forgotten what it was like. I had forgotten that it could be so lovely. God really is an artist.
As I was driving, the moon came into view straight ahead of me. It was still early in the night, and the sky was not fully darkened. The moon was enormous, and it was sitting on the top of the mountain in front of me. Just perched right on top of it. And I know that it was not the biggest moon that has ever been seen, and I know that the mountains here are not the biggest mountains in the world. But to see that big moon just resting on top was mesmerizing.
I don't have a photograph to post. I was driving. That's just a bad idea.
Moon Mountain tonight (I just gave it that name, believe it or not)
I mean, it was really lovely. And that big moon gave off a lot of light. So much light that I didn't really get to see the meteor shower that is supposed to be going on tonight. But I didn't really look for any shooting stars, because I couldn't think about anything outside except that moon sitting on that mountain. It was saying, "welcome back to the world."
