Just A Typical Football Post

So y'all know that I go to the best football school in the entire world (this is hardly an exaggeration). The school is pretty nifty when it comes to football, in case you haven't heard. As in two-national-championships-in-the-last-three-years kind of nifty. That phrase was hyphenated and italicized because if I were to read it aloud to you, I would read it really quickly and with emphasis.

Before I write anything else, I just want to state that I graduated from a rival university. It is fabulous, I loved going to school there, and I can't wait to visit that lovely town again. I even went to football games, cheered for them, and had a fabulous time! But let's just be honest: my current school kinda wins the football battle against my former school. I know that there are years in which this is not true; I don't wanna hear about it again because I've heard about it a ridiculous number of times. But currently, this is true. And also the number of national championships between the two teams indicates the truth of my statement.

But really, because of the whole football greatness thing, games exist solely on either end of the stress continuum.

On one end, opponents decide that football just really ain't their thang, and they just play child games while my team whoops 'em. It gets kinda boring. There's not any stress or tension, and so everyone just leaves at half-time. Who doesn't like to pay a million dollars to watch half a game?

That's for real supposed to be a drawing of a sleeping person, but there's a reason I'm in school to become a speech pathologist and not an artist.

On the other end, a team actually shows up to play Big Boy Football, and nobody knows how to react. As the game progresses and the teams actually struggle against each other to win, all us fans are falling out of our seats and pulling out our hair. It suddenly becomes more intense and stressful than finals, elections, and hurricanes. And if a loss actually occurs, then it's like the entire world has ended and we can't ever face anyone who cheers for another team. Because they'll call us losers. Like they've never lost a game (except for all those games that they've lost).

Let's just be honest, football is always kind of stressful. I'm super nervous for the players. When I hear their helmets hit each other, it's just awful. I'm certain that I've seen way more concussions occur than I should have ever seen simply through watching football. Every time someone is tackled my blood pressure rises until everyone gets up and walks away from the scene of the attack. I know, no need to be dramatic, but really there's a need to be dramatic. Those poor fellows could get really hurt! That's probably an intensely girly thing to state, but whatever.

So the moral of this post is to watch football or don't live in the Southeast.