Monday, August 4, 2014

Oh no, not another one! And this one is a little all over the place.

So anyways, the last blog from like three months ago was all about stargazing, which was excellent foreshadowing to the next adventure in my life. I was so smart that I didn't even know that I was foreshadowing it (uh, or something like that). But yeah, a lot of stuff has happened between then and now.

On a side note, the "m" key on my computer quit working at some point this summer, so each "m" you carelessly read in this post was painstakingly pasted in with great care and frustration. 


But back to the topic at hand: what I've been up to. Which really doesn't matter all that much, except I feel the need to explain everything that has gone on during my absence (though this really is a stupid blog that is sporadically, at best, updated).


It's been an eventful summer. Early in my last semester of graduate school, I started applying for jobs. I graduated, and moved home to become a full-time job-seeker. Applications were sent out to a minimum of a billion jobs in a billion states, and some of those actually called back for an interview. But every single one of those seemed to be fated in the favor of other candidates. Former interns, internal transfers, and going against huge numbers of other interviewers... for months, I always seemed to have enough fortune to nearly get hired, but to always have something intervene. Which is fine, and is probably similar to the fortune of most other new grads. It just gets discouraging after a while, to feel like you worked so hard in graduate school only to never get hired. 





But then my family went on vacation to Savannah, Georgia in late June. That vacation really marked a change in the trajectory of my su
mmer. Savannah is a beautiful, beautiful place. Driving in that city is terrible, but walking there is wonderful. We got to eat in an old pirate-y tavern, and go into Flannery O'Connor's childhood house. It was great. But on our way back home, we got terrible news. 

Christine, my beautiful grandmother who I love, was very sick. She had been sick for years, but this was even worse. So of course we rushed home, to the see the truth for ourselves and to do what we could. It's impossible in this silly post to honor her to the extent that she deserves to be honored, so I won't write much now on the time that we spent with her in her suffering. 


But from that point forward, things seemed to happen at a rate that had seemed impossible only a few weeks earlier. I interviewed for five jobs in a matter of about seven days. And then, in the span of another week, I got two job offers, both good opportunities with good companies. I accepted one of them. But even then, my happiness was bittersweet, because I did not want to leave my family and Grandmother when I did not know what was going to happen.


It became evident soon, though, what would happen. We knew that very soon, Grandmother was going to be freed from her tired and sick earthly body, and would be able to worship the Lord in new and great ways with that freedom that brought her joy and peace, but brought us grief. She had been placed on hospice, and it was only a matter of time. I was blessed to be able to schedule with my new employer to have a start date that would allow me to stay with and help care for Grandmother during that last little while. 


During that time, I was telling a close friend, a sister in Christ, about how frustrating the summer had been, with searching so hard for a job only to have to leave for one soon after the passing of someone I dearly loved. And then she mentioned that perhaps the Lord had not opened the door until that specific time so that I could be with Grandmother and my family


And there it was. It was true. God closed and opened doors. It's such a clear idea, that I feel foolish even now for not realizing it. I took it as coincidence. Perhaps there was coincidence involved, but how much coincidence is there truly in this world? How often do we comfort ourselves with the idea that God opens and closes doors at the right time and according to His will, but we neglect to give Him glory when He actually does open and close doors? How could I be so silly to have thought it was a coincidence, to have been running down a hallway of nothing but locked doors to good jobs, only to find unlocked doors to good jobs on the other side of the events of this summer? 


And finally reaching those unlocked doors, after such a summer, are what led me back to stargazing. Since then, I have moved to Huntsville, arguably one of the most stargazing-est cities in the country. I started my new job today, and I think it will be great. I think God opened the door for this job specifically. I have felt uncomfortable leaving home and moving to a new city after my family heartbreak, couldn't sleep last night, broke my sunglasses this morning, sat through an all-day orientation, and then someone hit my car on the way home from work (I'm okay, and my car mostly is). But when I think about it, I still feel good. Because God works things together for good for those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose. And I know I have been called to His purpose. God has something for me to do, and He is going to reveal it.


Also, I really don't stargaze much at all. But I'm probably in a great place to see that meteor shower now.

1 comment:

  1. I appreciate all your letter "m"s, but why didn't you just type it from another computer loll

    ReplyDelete