Texting is ruining our lives

Now I know that the title of this post is a bit dramatic. Also, let it be known that I do text. But I think that texting has gotten a bit out of hand. (On a side note, this website doesn't recognize "texting" as a legitimate word when I type it. Get with the times.)

What I mean by this claim is that I have become increasingly frustrated with text messaging and the way it impacts my relationships with other people. It is a terrible way to try to manage existing friendships. It is a terrible way to get to know people.  It makes cowards out of people. It makes people lazy.

Now, I shall start with the defense of text messaging, so that y'all can understand my argument a little better. I text message people all the time. It is super convenient. For example, I might be in a conference where making a phone call to talk casually with my friend would be extremely rude and inappropriate. However, at the same conference, sending a text message to communicate casually with my friend would only be a little rude and inappropriate. I text people daily, and I like for them to text me, though I am sometimes (frequently) bad at responding in a timely manner (I don't mean to forget). There are many, many reasons to text someone. I might be touching base with someone about plans later that afternoon. I might be letting someone know I am thinking about them. Or asking them a casual question. Or coordinating a meeting between multiple friends. I might be texting them about a tv show we are watching simultaneously from different cities. Or just enjoying some talk about our day. And the list goes on and on, but it does not go on to actually form or maintain those close relationships.

That's says, "what is up?" because that's the number one way to start a casual conversation on an old cell phone.

But aspects of communicating solely by text have started to irk me. I find that I have not kept well-maintained friendships with many people, despite texting them. I don't really know about their lives, and they don't really know about mine. I get lazy about responding, and so do other people. I don't know what to pray for them. I don't know what is currently making them happy or sad, and I don't know how their work and their social lives are. And they don't know these things about me. Though I love these friends, I literally cannot show it over a text message. The friends who I have maintained a strong relationship with are the ones who I actually talk to, via phone call, on occasion. It doesn't even have to be that frequently. Once every few months will suffice in some cases. Yet, text messaging has replaced even that with many friendships. Unfortunately, I am only accusing myself of this. To those friends of mine, I am very sorry.

And there is the formation of new relationships. You cannot really get to really know real people through text messages. I repeat, you CANNOT get to know people through text messages. I don't care if you try to text me all day long - you are only seeing a fraction of me. I am only seeing a fraction of you. And you're only seeing a fraction of anyone else you try to text. I don't think that this is as huge of a problem when it comes to making new friends, because you're probably not trying to learn all about your new friends over text messaging. You're probably just hanging out and eating a lot of pizza and ice cream, talking and getting to know your friend. I feel like dating is the major area in which the problem of text messaging is used as a means of forming new relationships.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T.

Oh yes she did. 

Also, sorry that this is so scary looking but I took the few minutes to do it so it's going in this post.

But it's true. And okay, maybe it is excused in people who are not looking for commitment. Dating is scary, thoughts of marriage are probably for the distant future, and texting is a means of trying to become acquainted with someone that allows for avoidance of commitment if necessary. However, each person eventually outgrows that phase in life. Men begin to want to be treated like men. Women begin to want to be treated like women. That means pursuing, and being bold, and showing leadership. That means having proper standards and a personality that is worth the work. And I'm just going to say it: texting is not romantic. It is my opinion that rare is the man who feels well respected by text messages, and rare is the woman who feels very cherished by text messages. Some flirtation, some conversation, nice goodnight or good morning texts are always great. There is nothing wrong at all with texting the person you are pursuing or who is pursuing you! But text messaging as a replacement for talking is a mistake. Somewhere along the way, I think a lot of men and women in the dating realm have started to think that talking on the phone means having a boring conversation, or getting in an argument. But I think it's different. Phone calls are nice. Talking in person is better.

Now, I am not condemning text messaging. I think it has some good uses, and I definitely text message. I just think that those of us who are adults need to look at our friendships and other relationships, and see if we are satisfied at the depth of them. Is the text message, where meaning and feeling are difficult to portray and ascertain, the appropriate medium to maintain and develop those relationships? The answer might absolutely be YES in some cases. But the answer is all too often no.